I Hate My Boyfriend's Spending Habits. How Can I Talk To Him About It?

Q: My boyfriend is generally pretty careful about spending money. He likes to limit how often we order in, and when we travel, he’s always trying to book the cheapest flights, accommodations, and activities. That’s all fine with me — neither of us makes much money in our postgrad jobs — but the main issue I have is that he goes out with his friends every few weekends and will drop hundreds of dollars on drinks in one night. He says their boys nights help him “blow off steam” and doesn’t seem worried about the finances, but it hurts my feelings considering he’s so frugal when he’s with me. How can I talk to him about it? —Katie*

A: Hi, Katie! I can see why this would be frustrating. It sounds like the issue is less about how much money your boyfriend is spending and more about how he’s choosing to spend it. The way someone spends their hard-earned cash does say something about their priorities, so I don’t blame you for questioning why he’s allocating his paycheck (which he’s clearly mindful of) in this way. It sucks to feel like his boys nights take ...