How To Make Sure Your Friend Group Survives Spring Break

Picture this: You just threw up your last pomegranate margarita in the airport bathroom. You’ve got hangxiety about that boy you had a DFMO with at Señor Frog’s last night. You’re getting dizzy at even the thought of turbulence. But somehow, you’re still not drunk enough to numb the awkwardness that will be this plane ride home.

When you booked this return flight, you purposefully chose a seat next to your two besties, so you could debrief your entire spring break uninterrupted. But now, you’re stuck sitting in between two frenemies you beefed with the night before, after they accidentally ordered you a shot of vodka instead of tequila. (“Do you even know me, like, at all?!”)

Disassociation isn’t working either. This trip is a sensory nightmare. The sticky leather seat is rubbing at your sunburn in all the worst ways, and you’re pretty sure there’s still sand in your vagina. As you cue up Crazy Rich Asians (the ulti...