Tips On Dating With HS When You’re Terrified Of Being Judged

The fear usually isn’t the flare itself. It’s the moment you have to explain it: that pause before you tell someone new that the painful spots near your underarms or inner thighs aren’t contagious and aren’t going anywhere. If you have hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), you already know dating with HS isn’t really about hiding a condition — it’s about working up the nerve to tell someone and bracing for how they’ll take it. Which, by the way, is a way bigger ask, and it’s why a lot of people with HS quietly opt out of dating entirely.

Take a deep breath. You don’t have to bench yourself from the dating world. Figuring out what you’re actually scared of is step one.

First, The Facts (Because Half The Fear Is The Unknown)

HS is a chronic inflammatory skin condition that causes painful nodules and abscesses, usually in areas where skin rubs together, like the underarms, groin, and inner thighs. The single most important thing to know is that it is not contagious. Dr. Nicole Ruth, a board-certified dermatologist known online as