Here’s how I judged — and survived — the Denver Burger Battle

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at a burger again after biting into 20 different patties at this year’s Denver Burger Battle, which took place on Aug. 3.

Judging the beefy brawl at Tivoli Quad felt like a real-life “Man Vs. Food” moment as I joined seven other foodies at the table. Runners brought us unlabeled quarter slices of four burgers every 20 minutes and we ranked them on a scale of 1 to 10; a 1 meant that “the Hamburgler had the opportunity to steal this burger, he’d decline and go to the KFC across the street,” according to the rules laid out for us, while a 10 meant “I would sell my house, my spouse, and my children just to taste this delicious masterpiece again.”

It was a lot of food. But luckily, the judges who had done this before warned me beforehand to pace myself and only take one small bite of each. That way, I wouldn’t explode, and each burger would get a fair shot. I also came prepared with some...